Questions and Answers
by jing-i
Summary: Just a short Yukimura piece. Very slight overtones of KyoYuki. Hehx. Don't really know how to describe this so just give it a try?


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A/N: This takes place sometime shortly after Yukimura left Kyo and co. in book 27. Contains bits of spoilers here and there but nothing really major. And yes... the title sucks as usual but i really don't know what to name my stuff so oh well... Think i screwed up the characterization quite a bit so pls.. flame me... i really need to know what went wrong and hope tt i can get it done better next time... haish... hope u like it then... (cos i don't... not really.... so why am i putting this here?)...

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**Questions and Answers **

****_A Samurai Deeper Kyo fanfiction_

_By dj_

I never had any illusions about the two of us. You have Sakuya and Yuya. Whoever you choose to be with in the end. Though I'm inclined to believing that you would choose neither. Because you are a loner. Despite the group that has now gathered around you, you'll always keep them at arm's length, never permitting them into your private world.

As for me, well I have my responsibilities. Remember when you asked me why I had to claim the head of Tokugawa and I told you the story of the man who simply liked it too much? Well, I wouldn't say that was a lie. It wasn't. Neither was it the total truth. But you already know that.

Everyone expects the only person Tokugawa fears to oppose him fiercely. The Sanada Ten Warriors will die to help me attain the world. Sasuke even joined the Mibu Clan so that I could have a chance to rule the world. I could never just decide to drop everything because I'm tired. It's not that anyone would complain outwardly, but they would be disappointed.

Did you know? When I said I wanted to join you just now, I truly meant it. Then again, you probably did. You always know. Even when everyone else face-faults at me antics, you would just look at me expressionlessly because I would have done exactly what you expected me to do. The real me. Not the 'Best-strategist-cum-Sanada-Clan-leader' façade the rest of the world sees. You saw through me from the start didn't you? That's probably why you did not want to join the Imperial Tournament. After all, there really isn't a point in becoming involved when even I was only half-interested.

Though I can be whatever I want in front of you, it's never only you. So I can never be only me.

That is what makes our fights so precious I guess. It's the only time I can reach for that higher, faraway place. I know you feel the same. The blaze in your deep red eyes is unmistakable. I like to think it's a fire reserved just for me. A fire that will eliminate everything around us and envelope us as we reach that glorious oblivion together.

Perhaps it sounds crude, but it's almost like an orgasm isn't it? Haha. A much more intense variation of that sensation of skin on skin. A tide that engulfs and consumes us as our battle reaches its peak. I lose all my inhibitions then, displaying my most naked self to everyone, stunning them as I reach my climax.

Then it is all over.

I bounce right back into the Sanada Yukimura that I'm supposed to be and everyone dismisses that split-second truth they saw as a figment of their imagination. Except Saizo perhaps. But he is so fearful of this side of me that he chooses denial. Still, he is my most loyal subordinate and I would never want to disappoint him, or any of the other Ten Warriors for that matter.

However, _I_ am disappointed. So are you. Not that you would ever show it outwardly, but there are some things a person just knows. Words become redundant when you can really connect with someone. I wonder sometimes, if anyone sees that extra glaze in your eyes when you fight me. The euphoria that is somehow different from the normal excitement you have at fighting a worthy opponent. It is not something I conjured up out of thin air, I'm sure of that.

Maybe I am a little petty at times, but there are things I just have to know. That's why I play all those games with you. Yet you play a better game than you let on. It's not that you lie. You never do that. But I never get any answers, only more questions. That is the way with you.

I'm not sure if I ever want to find out the answers to all those questions though. (Like the time when I said I wanted to pursue Yuya. I could never tell if the fire in your eyes then was for her or me.) Ambiguity is what defines the two of us. Answers are too dangerous, for we are not friends, but merely sailors of the same course by happenstance. When the current changes and we're propelled onto different courses, answers would only make things more complicated.

I need to answer to the Sanada Clan. But you're always so free. Everything about us seems to counter-define each other. Then again, that's probably where the cliché 'opposites attract came from. Or was it magnetism. Hmmm... yes... the world is bigger than us. I keep forgetting that these days.

So here I am, on my way to where my duties lie, flanked by my faithful ninjas. You are probably somewhere on the way to the ex-Red Emperor to settle your scores. Maybe we'll settle our own scores when we next meet at the Yin Yang Palace. (I know you'll get there.) Yet chances are we'll just let it slide. You will go on your own path and I will go on mine.

Whether they intersect again would be anyone's guess. 

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Yup... so that was it... was contemplating whether i shld do another piece for Kyo's POV but decided not to... i kNOW i'll screw tt up... so... C&C? thx... :D 


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